My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
