so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
