I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Everything about him screamed your future.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
