Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
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