So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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