yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
