So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
