we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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