Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
