We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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