I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
