I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
