He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
