belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
