i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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