Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important