just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.