Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I use my feet as sexual weapons