If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
