If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You are a genius and a whore.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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