...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize
