I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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