I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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