thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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