NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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