Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
