Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
