who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
