i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize