If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
