I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
