I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
