meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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