Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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