I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
