Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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