Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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