that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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