ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.