but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present