I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
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Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.