i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.