i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...