All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
