Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you traded sex for a burrito?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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