when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
