God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Buhtt sex?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
