I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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