But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
