the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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