he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
