i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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