who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
