She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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