If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
