i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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