so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
