Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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