STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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