so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
