Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
