so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
