i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
