yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
