her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
