Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
