Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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