But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm always down for nudity.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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