He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize