Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize