Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
