My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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