you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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