I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
