Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
