Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
