I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
