Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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