If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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