The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
