I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
